In the beginning, there was only Mo and Benny. The only greyhounds to ever exist ever. However, since Moravi Uni, tried and true, was constructed in 1742, greyhounds have hounded the spirit of the campus. John Stamos Comenius [cue Full House music] himself was said to have owned his own greyhound farm where he hired the breed as scribes. 

In the present day, Greyhounds have a larger-than-life presence which is incredible considering they look like the diet version of Wendigos! Mo and Benny, our beloved immortal dogs, grace students with their presence and relieve them of the stress of a dawg-eat-dawg world. 

With the incoming class of 2028, the board of trustees has voted that everyone needs a dog. 

“It’s what the world needs,” says University President Morav Ian. “It’s like Heritage Day but much better for the community!” Incoming freshmen will be receiving greyhounds and be responsible for training these dogs for the annual Doggin’ Derby (DnD). 

Upperclassmen will not be eligible for puppies. It is stated that upperclassmen don’t need the emotional support. Instead, they will have the chance to have the dog on campus: Snoop Dogg! 

“He’s a great role model,” says Jim Henson (no affiliation) ‘26 puppetry major. “He and the devil’s lettuce go together like lemonade and a summer afternoon.” 

A Snoop Dogg statue is expected to be erected in fall 2026, just in time for the new HUB grand opening. Additionally, the Art Department has agreed to hire Michaelangelo Ninja Turtle to paint The Creation of Snoop Dogg, depicting Snoop Dogg as Adam and a Greyhound as God. 

The Greyhound Gods once again send their bone-afide blessings to us!