Photo from Liz Kameen.

Welcome back to The Comenian’s relationship column! This might be a controversial take, but I am over soft launches on social media, and this is coming from someone who has been there, done that.

We’ve all seen it, even if you have no idea what I’m talking about. 

Here are some examples of a soft launch: posting a picture of two drinks or meals without tagging the person you’re with, sharing photos of couple-like activities but keeping your partner’s face out of the frame, or just posting a picture of you holding hands without identifying the other hand in the picture.

A hard launch consists of posting a clear couple photo with a caption like “My love <3”, tagging your partner’s account in the photo, or just posting a picture of you kissing or holding hands with both faces visible. 

I understand the reasoning behind soft launches: keep things lowkey, protect your privacy, and prevent putting too much pressure on the relationship too soon. But, to me, soft launching looks like you’re scared of people knowing who your partner is, and this doesn’t seem cool and mysterious.

I’ll be honest: to me, soft launching says, “I’m kind of maybe in a relationship, but I’m not totally sure how serious this is, so I’ll keep it vague in case it disappoints me.” This makes you seem unsure of your connection, and that’s not how I want my relationships to be interpreted. 

Not only that, soft-launches are confusing for your friends and family and stressful for yourself. Every viewer will ask, “Who? When! Are you official?” and it’s exhausting for everyone involved. 

I hate the guessing games, and now, it feels like every time I see a blurry hand in the background of a post, I have to figure out if it was an intentional soft launch or just a normal picture. 

Life was never meant to be this complicated; just post a picture of you kissing your partner and call it a day. Or don’t and keep your relationship private – as long as you don’t put me in the position of figuring out whether a picture of a blurry hand means my friend is seeing someone new. 

Being on the other side of soft launching seems dismissive, as well. Imagine really liking your partner and then seeing that they’re only willing to post your knuckles – it feels like they’re embarrassed or hiding from someone. I don’t know about you – but I’d overthink. Why else would they not be willing to post me in an identifiable manner? 

This takes me to my next point: privacy is one thing, but hiding is another. I completely understand keeping certain aspects of your relationship private, as we all know and see how social media can put unnecessary strain on our lives. But soft launching often blurs the line between privacy and hiding, making it seem like you’re protecting your relationship when you just might fear being let down by your partner.

But here’s the thing: relationships are a leap of faith. If you’re unwilling to take that leap and fully show up for your partner — in both your private life and publicly — maybe it’s time to reconsider what’s holding you back.

The soft launch just feels lukewarm – not quite anything. It’s not necessarily a commitment, and it’s not casual. It’s a weird in-between, and honestly, if you’re excited about someone, you should be able to go all in — both in the relationship and in how you share that with the people around you. 

A hard launch is like saying you’re excited about your relationship and proud to show others your connection. It’s a statement of confidence, and I don’t know about you, but I think we all deserve to feel pride in the people we choose to be with. 

So what’s the alternative? I’m not saying you have to post a photo shoot the moment you start dating someone (unless that’s your thing). But if you’re happy and excited about your relationship, don’t be afraid to show it. 

Here’s my take: skip the soft launch. When you’re ready to share your relationship, just share it — no hiding behind vague captions, blurry figures, and unnamed and untagged hands. You and your partner deserve better than that.

As always, thanks for reading. Do you have questions about your love life? Fill out my anonymous Google Form or email me at [email protected] to make a request for future topics!