Hi, everyone!
If you’re a returning reader, welcome back to the Fatimah Files! And if you’re new, welcome to The Comenian’s very own mental health column! I write about the mental health struggles of college students and give input on how I deal with being a semi-certain 20-something being pulled in so many different directions. Whether it’s dealing with winter blues, unstructured summers, or opening up about mental illness to a romantic partner, I like to relay my own coping strategies that you may or may not find helpful.
What better time to talk about mental health than the start of a new semester? The first week of classes is always an enigmatic mix of anxiety, excitement, apprehension, dread, and perhaps hints of despair slipping through the cracks. I’ve been around the block a few times, and I’m still caught between the dread that I’m one step closer to graduating and the excitement to see friends, meet potential friends-to-be, and overly romanticize the kitsch college life.
In summers past, I badly wanted to go back to school and have the structure that depressing retail jobs did not give me. I hate to say it, but I was dependent on college to “fix” me or make me feel like a productive human being. However, this summer, I found myself not missing college too much. Maybe it’s because the previous semester was traumatizing, maybe it’s because I have a job that I actually like now.
As August crashed in, I finally faced why I didn’t want to go back. I was terrified of becoming that cynical version of myself from the spring semester: a woman running on little sleep, overcommitting to death, resenting people in the process, feeling overwhelmed by coursework resulting in eye twitches, and working at a “rebound” job that realistically didn’t even respect her.
I was so scared of being back in that nightmarish mindscape again that I didn’t realize what could be different about this semester. I’ve dropped a few commitments, which means I can finally give myself peace of mind. I’m starting a research project about a topic I really like and can work on at my own pace. I have a job that I enjoy and that has been accommodating to my schedule. Not everything will be solved on a dime, but there is so much room for things to be different, to be within my control.
All this to say that, whether you’re a freshman or a senior like me, you should give yourself as much grace as possible. No one else can give that to you but you. Join clubs and extracurriculars, but don’t count on attending every single one you sign up for. Take classes that cater to your interests, but don’t automatically assume that the experience will be good or bad.
College life can be vibrant and starry one minute and dreary and dim the next. You’ll have experiences that propel you into excellence or remind you to take a step back and check in with yourself. Above all, you’ll have the chance to shape yourself in bizarre and beautiful ways.
I know how difficult adjusting can be for those of us with mental health struggles. Suddenly, time is moving too fast; you feel you’re growing up too fast or not fast enough, and now, there is an impending tsunami of responsibility and expectation rushing towards you.
If you’re like me, you’ll think, “I’m not ready, what if I never will be?” or, “I’m scared, I don’t want things to change.” Maybe you’re graduating in two semesters and dreading the “What’s next after Moravian?” question that everyone will be bugging you with. There’s no telling if things will be alright or awry, but that doesn’t mean you can make the most of the time that hasn’t yet slipped from you.
Take your time with this new semester. Even if this isn’t your first rodeo, don’t rush headfirst without taking it all in. Don’t say yes to every new, shiny opportunity heading your way, and also, try not to avoid what college life can offer. Use those nifty college resources like the Counseling Center and the Writing Center to give you the boost you need (you’re already paying for them)!
You (yes, you!) will be more than alright. You’re heading in so many directions that you’ll look back at where you started and think, “Huh, I really did all of it.”Feel free to reach out via my email, [email protected], or my anonymous Google form if you have any questions, suggestions for future mental health articles, or just want a listening ear. Stay sane, friends 🙂
