From a young age, I could never tell when a boy liked me – and from an older age, I still can’t. But, I write a relationship column, so I guess it’s my job to try and figure it out.
When I asked my boyfriend how he acts when he likes someone, he told me that he’d laugh at their jokes – which prompted me to ask, “Does this mean I’m not actually as funny as I think I am …?”
Don’t worry, he reassured me (another sign that someone is likely into you – or just being a friend, that’s where things get confusing).
He also pointed out that he tends to lean towards someone when he’s interested, and his body language makes it obvious.
Now, I am the most oblivious person in the world when it comes to making this discovery. I remember he grabbed my hand once, borderline holding it, and said, “That’s a beautiful ring.” I told my friend I wanted to go home because I thought I was crazy and imagining things, and he was just being “a friend.”
But, in hindsight, someone grabbing your hand is likely a sign they might be interested.
When we first started talking, I made every effort to see him as much as I could, despite our tightly packed schedules.
But, I think it’s the case for many people, especially after a tough break-up, to feel unlovable or not good enough; at least, I know that was the case for me.
I felt unhealed and uncomfortable talking to anyone seriously, and I thought that feeling oozed off of me.
Except when you like someone, it’s difficult to hide. My boyfriend saw how much I valued him, how I talked about a future together without even meaning to, and he was what I needed.
On the other hand, when I asked him how he knew I liked him, he told me I invited him over to see my evil cat, Gus, but he didn’t know for the longest time. I guess I kinda made the first move there.
On one of our first dates, I put on “Midsommer” and described it as my comfort movie before I immediately fell asleep. He watched the entire horrifying film, and I knew from that moment there was something special.
So, my point so far is that it doesn’t matter if you’re sure whether someone likes you – you should make that move, because the worst case scenario is that now you know the truth and can start moving on.
What is more important than knowing if someone likes you is the ability to take a hint. I recently went to a concert with my mom, where I was continuously hit on (once by a man with children – which is okay – but that is the first time that has ever happened to me).
I would look away from them, just give them a little “Mhm” in reaction to what they said, before I finally told them I had a boyfriend. I’ve been on dates where I fake a stomach ache to go home, and then the man asks me if he can come home with me to make me feel better; when I continuously say no, I just want to be alone, they still are persistent.
That is gross, and it should be so obvious when someone no longer wants to spend time with you. I shouldn’t have to text my friend: “Hey, it’s an emergency; call me and say something happened to my cat, and I need to get home right away.”
Be respectful if someone is not interested in you; your force and eagerness are nothing but a turn-off. You will find someone who fits into your life like a perfect puzzle piece soon enough; you just have to be patient.
