“You’re worse than me. You’re not human. You’re biblical.”

This is just a symbolic review. There is no meaning behind it (have a complimentary grenade?). If you know, you know. 

Wes Anderson’s latest film, “The Phonecian Scheme,” was released in theatres on May 30, and although it doesn’t have the same spunk as my favorite Anderson films, it’s a satisfying, funny watch. 

The comedy/adventure film follows a juxtaposed father-daughter pair; Mia Threapleton plays Sister Liesl, a nun, who is dragged around with her father, Anatole “Zsa-Zsa” Korda (Benicio del Toro), who is obviously engaged in espionage. 

In 1950, arms dealer and industrialist Anatole narrowly survived an assassination attempt, one of many. Knowing he cannot run from them together, Korda spends the film trying to mend his relationship with his only daughter, Catholic nun Sister Liesl. 

He asks Liesl to quit the Church and take over his business, and they spend the entire film trying to save his business with a vast plan called “The Phoenician Scheme.”

The cast is simply star-studded: Michael Cera as ​​Bjørn, Scarlett Johansson as Cousin Hilda, Benedict Cumberbatch as Uncle Nubar, Bryan Cranston as Reagan, and Tom Hanks as Lelenad. Even the minor characters are detailed, well-written, and deeply characterized. 

Bill Murray is also God? Yeah, a lot is going on, but I loved it. 

Cera performs wonderfully, and Cranston and Hanks were excellent in their cameos, which were all hilarious. 

The film is presented in a 1.50:1 aspect ratio, a rarely used frame, but I love how it suits this film and almost frames the scenes. 

Anderson’s use of almost episodic chapters within his movies always enchants me, and he always finds new and creative ways to do so. In this film, the framing is so exciting that I won’t spoil it, so you’ll be compelled to watch it.

What I love about this film is the traditional Anderson devices: beautiful mise-en-scène, framing, characterization, coloring, and casting. However, the film is just not that memorable. I enjoyed it; I giggled and had fun, but I left not really knowing exactly what the point of the film was, and I forgot a lot that happened, and I’m not sure why.

Now, here’s where I might get into some spoilers. 

The cinematography is beautiful, but not as sophisticated as Anderson’s films typically are. I will say, I love how the filming subtly points out the nun’s aspects of materialism – her nails, makeup, and pink slippers – before the mother nun points it out as well. 

Additionally, the color red’s appearance is striking: when blood appears, it becomes the focal point in Anderson’s creation, bold and invasive.

The Uncle Nubar strangulation scene absolutely kept me up at night; it has been months since I last saw this film, and I can still picture that scene almost perfectly. I think that scene genuinely might have topped some of the David Lynch horror scenes I’ve witnessed. 

Nubar is also hilarious, and he adds so much to Anatole’s character; the line, “Why do you feel the need to assassinate me all the time?” is hilarious, and I take no arguments about that. 

Also, the fight scene where the two brothers kept picking up random objects had me obsessed. I was laughing so hard at the drive-in theatre that I’m sure the next car over could even hear me. 

The split black and white scenes took a moment to grow on me, but after seeing how they add to the film, I really enjoyed their usage. The inverted black and white coloring was also an incredible effect.

I also really enjoyed how religion is depicted in this film; I don’t know why or how, but I love it. The black and white afterlife scenes are scary but also calming, and I loved how those scenes were broken up throughout the film.

Bill Murray’s God isn’t omnipotent; he’s awkward, cranky, oddly human, and in a way, that’s the trick of the film: everyone here is half one thing, half another. A nun who wants luxury. A spy who can’t stop bumbling. A God who feels more like a neighbor.

The Phoenician Scheme isn’t perfect, but it’s unforgettable in flashes—the kind of film you laugh at in the moment, forget about in chunks, and then suddenly recall one scene years later with a shiver or a smile.

So, the film is excellent – just not an Anderson staple. I’d give it a 4.5/5.