Staff Picks: The Best WORST Horror Movies for Halloween
The Comenian staff has given you a list of the best bad horror films for you to watch this Halloween. Whether it’s for a laugh or to make you appreciate your favorite movies even more.
Zombeavers (2014)
2 Sentence Synopsis: Four sexually-stifled teenagers take a vacation to a secluded cabin and are hunted by a group of zombie beavers.
Why It’s Bad: The movie’s premise is honestly terrible, but the way the writers take the story makes it absolutely hilarious. With no context, some of the most memorable parts of the movie are when a lesbian gets c***blocked when her girlfriend grows massive buck teeth and becomes a human beaver while in bed with her, a jerk gets his “appendage” bitten off by a beaver when he tries to rape a girl, and the main characters are convinced that they are safe in a log cabin against zombie beavers (which should be self-explanatory). On top of these massively cringy moments, the special effects are so bad that they make you laugh. A must-watch if you and your friends are looking to roast a movie all night while laughing until you feel like you’ll burst.
-Elizabeth Horn
Tusk (2014)
2 Sentence Synopsis: A man has some weird fetish and basically becomes Leatherface but wants to become a walrus instead.
Why It’s Bad: The plot is really the thing that makes you hate this film so much. None of it makes any sense, even down to the last minutes of the movie. Why does a character want to be a walrus so badly? Why does he want OTHERS to be walruses so badly? Why does he kidnap and use other humans to make walrus suits? Why did any writer think this, and why did any producer give them money to film it? On top of this, the movie is unnecessarily graphic and filled with gore that is just repulsive rather than frightening. All around, this movie makes you gag but somehow you still need to know it exists.
-Elizabeth Horn
Basket Case (1982)
2 Sentence Synopsis: Conjoined twins are separated at birth, but one is horribly misshapen as half a man that is carried around by his brother in a bread basket. Unsurprisingly, the half-man gets superhuman strength, crawls out of his basket, and brutally murders people with somehow no one knowing.
Why It’s Bad: The premise is just strange. And the special effects for the movie are terrible. Watching the half-man walk around is like watching stop-animation movies, and somehow he manages to kill unsuspecting victims with his bare hands. Yet despite not having any weapons or lower body, he manages to mutilate his victims so horribly that blood absolutely splatters and covers every part of the room like new wall paint. Oh, and that blood looks like ketchup. And the worst part about it? Somehow there were two sequels to this movie.
-Elizabeth Horn
The Blob (1958)
2 Sentence Synopsis: A meteorite crashes to earth and when someone goes to investigate it, a globular blob comes out and eats him. The rest of the movie is about escaping from the horrible man-eating blob, which gets bigger and more terrible the more people it eats.
Why It’s Bad: It’s so bad it’s funny–watch it if you want to have a laugh about old-fashioned special effects and cheesy dialogue. I watched it with my brother when we were kids and we laughed the whole time.
-Grace Gilbert
Creepshow III (2006)
2 Sentence Synopsis: It is the third sequel to the Creepshow series and is a collection of short horror tales ranging from wacky remotes to a haunted dog.
Why It’s Bad: I absolutely love the two Creepshow movies that came before the third one; however, one key person is missing in the creation of the third movie, and I believe that contributed a lot to its downfall. That person is Stephen King. The tales that are in the third Creepshow aren’t even scary or creepy, they are just downright weird and uncomfortable to watch due to the horrendous acting. However, it’s so bad and cringeworthy it’s actually funny to watch, so I recommend it for that aspect.
-Kaitlyn Furst
Teeth (2007)
2 Sentence Synopsis: Girl with killer vagina. (P.S. it has teeth.)
Why It’s Bad: It’s just absurd. The acting is horrible, and the scenario is strange. Some scenarios are just ridiculous, like the one when the main character finds herself in a cave. Who just “finds themselves in a cave” and then has her vagina bite some man’s genitals off?
-Samantha Riley
Rubber (2010)
2 Sentence Synopsis: Murderous tire with psychokinetic powers rolls around blowing things up and killing people.
Why It’s Bad: There’s just no reason for anything that happens in this movie to actually happen. This tire just wakes up one day in the middle of the desert and begins rolling around only to, in the matter of less than a day, roll itself into a town and begin exploding the heads of civilians. Why? No idea.
-Samantha Riley
The Sand (2015)
2 Sentence Synopsis: “The sand… it ate everyone.” ~Ronnie
Why It’s Bad: This movie is so bad you can watch it for free on YouTube (without ads), and I have at least three times. The plot is absolutely terrible. There really is no plot. Gilbert was stuck in a trash can for the entire movie! It is mostly dialogue but the acting is horrible, even with Mitchel Musso as a main character. The fact that he was a star of ‘Hannah Montana,’ often found on the beach, is quite entertaining. The dialogue itself is so dramatic it is hilarious. Some of my favorite quotes have language, unfortunately.
-Shayla Borger
