Rant of the Week: Stumbling into Adulthood


Photo courtesy of mtv.com

Since when was college student age deemed old enough and, most importantly, mature enough to make “adult decisions”?

For almost my whole life, I have looked forward to this time. I have always dreamed about being a young adult, doing what I want, making my own money, living on my own, and going to law school.

But these decisions are not all that I hyped them up to be, and I let some of the easiest times of my life pass me by — while also complaining about it. Adults like my parents, family friends, bosses, and even professors say, “these are the best days,” and “enjoy your time,” and I always thought it was such crap, but now I wish I had heeded their advice.

Time passed quickly and I crossed the threshold into adulthood without knowing or consenting to the terms and conditions. 

So my issue is when did I officially grow up to be able to make these decisions for myself?

I surely do not want any part of the pressure of living up to my own dreams and making my own decisions, but I am also too old to have someone else do it for me. Can’t I still have my mom tell me where I should go to law school, what to study, and how to be successful? Why is adulthood not everything I thought it was going to be?

I’ll be honest; this sucks. I lost track of the mark in my life that should have shouted “you are a grown-up now, congratulations!” Every adult I’ve mentioned this to says they still don’t feel like grown-ups or feel like they are “old enough” to make these decisions either.

The pressure is hard now, and I can’t imagine how it’s going to be when I have a job and a house, do my own taxes, and maybe even have kids- it isn’t easy.

Maybe it’s COVID impacting aspects of my life, but this freedom is tough. I would much rather prefer traveling the world in my free time and during the fast-approaching summer instead, I am stuck at home.

Just as important but much less exciting, I want to be able to travel to tour graduate schools and potential new cities, but I can’t do that either. COVID is certainly not helping to relieve any of the pressure of these monumental decisions. 

The days are quickly approaching when I have to make these life-altering decisions like selecting a graduate school and undergraduate graduation. My dreams are now within reach and it is absolutely, 100%, much scarier than I had anticipated.

My therapist says these feelings of crisis and overwhelming anxiety about the imminent changes are completely normal, but I wish I was still a kid and didn’t have to deal with it anyways.