Ten Ways to Lose a (Would-be) Lover

Photo courtesy of Freepix.

Photo courtesy of Freepix.

As Valentine’s Day arrives, I’ve organized a list–that’s certainly not all-encompassing–of the worst pick-up lines. This list consists of examples from my and my friends’ experiences and other online research. 

1) I’m not sure how society progressed to accepting this as a pickup line, but please do not ask her for a selfie over social media, especially Instagram—a social media founded based on posting pictures of oneself. I cannot tell you how often I immediately blocked someone because they asked me to send them a picture of myself when I have over 200 photos they could gaze over on my Instagram. It simply makes you comparable to texting a toddler who doesn’t understand social cues. 

2) Another way to quickly lose a girl’s interest is by acting aggressive or possessive after being dismissed or turned down. Here’s a helpful tip: it’s not sexy or attractive to be threatening–it’s just scary. The women’s dating world is already frightening enough; we don’t need more things to initiate fear. As a side note, if they ever did decide to say yes to you later, you’ve now lost all your future changes. 

3) You would think this was common sense, but women don’t like being criticized as a form of flirting. Insulting women is not–and will never– be an efficient way of picking up women. 

4) “Wyd? Where are you? Hru? Are you in bed right now?” These are the four quickest ways to make it onto a blocked list.  Can you at least try to act like you care about my interests? 

5) Another major red flag: men who ignore chivalry yet get angered when strangers do basic kind gestures. How will you be angry when someone opens a door for me, yet you’ve never done the same or walked me to my car? People still want partners that act like they care for them and their safety, even if it’s as simple as pulling out one’s chair. 

6) Do not try to restrain women physically–or anyone– as a form of flirting. Grabbing something and holding it above our heads while mocking how short we are loses its charm after experiencing it for 14 years. 

7) Stop forcing a narrative of aggressive masculinity. All of my friends prefer men that can be comfortable with their sexuality and experience “feminine” things without complaining. One of the worst red flags in men is when you plan something fun, and they call it “gay.” 

8) Putting down other women to compliment the girl you’re hitting on never works. It doesn’t make anyone happy. If they’re willing to put down another person publicly, what stops them from doing the same to you?

9) I hate that I still have to say this as a college student, but stop saying things on social media platforms you would never say in real life. I thought this type of behavior would have ended in middle school, but I’m sure if I were making eye contact with someone, they would be hesitant to ask the same vulgar things to my face. 

10) Finally, one of the worst ways to “hit on” women is catcalling. It makes you seem like you have no respect for the opposite sex, and it is honestly scary. Catcalling is equivalent to harassment, and it’s demeaning. Be self-aware.  

If you’re interested in someone, just act as if you care about them and their interests. Women care a lot less about masculinity than one might think; they prefer men that are comfortable with femininity and compassion. If you want to maintain a good relationship, make the girl you’re with feel like she’s your whole world. Put the phone down, stop faking aggressive personalities, and just be yourself.