I will admit upfront: I am a Valentine’s Day hypocrite. If I have a partner on the special day, I think it’s the greatest holiday to ever exist. On the other hand, if I’m single, I am a negative pessimist, and I’m sorry, but I can’t help it.
On a day that capitalizes love and spending money on a special romantic partner – not friends or family (not to say that some people do not celebrate others in their life on this day, but it is advertised for couples), it feels sad to be by yourself, and I don’t think that is unfair to say.
But this year, I wanted to go a little deeper in my Valentine’s Day article by talking about my favorite type of love: the unseen actions. Not posting on social media, recording your partner on TikTok, but the small things that build up.
Some examples are cleaning off your partner’s car and freeing it from the snow, holding their hand on icy spots (or if you’re as lucky as I, having a man who picks you up bridal style and carries you over it) and bringing them a cute gift or thing that reminds you of your partner.
A lot of love has recently become sensationalized – it feels like your love isn’t important enough if it isn’t viral, or if enough people don’t support it. Coming from someone who was in a five-year relationship, sometimes I felt like that was all I was: a girlfriend to someone else. Everyone rooted for us, said we would get married, and we won Class Couple.
But that means nothing. Other people’s approval means zip in your relationship if you are not happy in it, yourself.
I recently learned that it doesn’t matter what other people think about you and your partner. As someone who has been mentioned on YikYak multiple times, I’ve learned that other people’s perception of me is not only incorrect but irrelevant. I thrive on myself, my own success, and those around me who support me face-to-face, not against me on a virtual app.
And, if this article tells you something, you need to learn to love yourself. I had a miserable semester last year because I cared too much about what everyone else thought of me, and I learned, over a very long period of time, that my love was the most important. I am smart, successful, and kind, and I don’t need people around me to reinforce what I already know about myself.
Anyway, back to unseen acts of love. It’s risky, because you don’t have friends cheering you on, the public backing you up or social media commenting that you did all that you could. But it’s important, because it answers a question every person begs to ask: Do you care about me when there’s no one else around to see how you treat me? How do you react and respond to me, when there is no one else watching?
Love doesn’t need to be loud, but it needs to be significant. It needs to be meaningful. It’s not fancy dates, expensive gifts and extravagant acts in front of others, although it can be.
It depends on who you are with, but personally, I’d rather have something important to me than something expensive. A cheap date at The Melting Pot during Happy Hour would mean ten times as much to me as a steak dinner, because I love cheese and hate steak. What matters most is your person knowing you, choosing you, and remembering what you like.
Same thing with handmade gifts – I don’t need Louboutins, I need someone who cares about me enough to put hours into a scrapbook gift. I’m tired of putting my all into a relationship and seeing only half the effort back, and in this new year, I am determined to hold myself to that standard.
The last words my dad said to me before he lost his voice via a tracheotomy were that I was beautiful and that I deserved the world. And I will not accept mediocrity, because my dad will look down on me and frown, and I cannot let that happen. I was taught what love was from an early age; my dad gave my mom the world, and they never fought once. And if they taught me one thing, it’s that I deserve the same, as do all of you, readers.
Anyway, Happy Valentine’s Day to all the singles and couples out there. Thanks for reading The Kameenian Korner. As usual, if you have any questions or requests, feel free to submit them through my anonymous Google Form!
