Why we gotta be in a rush? My watch is just for decoration. – Paramore
Time is not my friend. It eludes me when I least expect it to, and sometimes, I foolishly think I have more time than I actually have. I’m not racing against the clock; I’m also racing against my own sense of time.
I notice that those of us who are neurodivergent and or have mental health issues have punctuality problems, and I feel like we don’t talk about that enough. It’s always, “You’re just lazy and inconsiderate,” without understanding the whys of chronic lateness.
I used to be quite punctual. Before I had a car, I took a bus to campus. That required meticulousness, knowing when to leave, finding alternative buses, and making sure I left my house on time. Back when the local Lanta bus only ran every hour (rather than every half an hour), I was more careful with how much time I spent getting ready in the morning, eating breakfast, and getting out the door on time.
The busier I became, the more blind I was to time. Once I finally got a car, it took me much less time to get to campus, but the catch was that I would think I had more time than I actually did.
It became much easier to lose track of time because I could spend more time rotting in bed, didn’t need to wake up too early to catch the bus, and could take my sweet time showering, doing my skincare and makeup, and eating breakfast. Instead of arriving on campus 30 to 45 minutes early, I would arrive at school five minutes before my class, meeting, or whatever I had going on. Considering I have to find time to park and walk to class, naturally, I started being late almost all the time.
Sometimes, lateness slithers its way into my social life. I’ll be running late to a social function, and in trying to beat the clock, I end up leaving something important behind, like my wallet or phone. Or, a friend and I plan to go to the movies, and I end up taking too long to choose an outfit or putting my purse together, and we arrive just barely in the nick of time (thank God for previews)!
I know people attribute lateness to “laziness” and “carelessness,” but I genuinely believe there’s more to it than that. As a Hispanic woman, I am more than familiar with the “running on Latino time” stereotype. Our cultural clocks are polychronic, meaning time is more fluid to us because we are not tethered to a fixed schedule.
Moreover, there’s an underlying mental health component to it. I suffer from time blindness, making it a challenge to calculate the time it takes to get ready. It really doesn’t help when I think that I have more time than I realistically have. It can be disheartening when people ridicule you for it. Yes, I’m aware that being on time is a Herculean task for me, and no, I’m not doing it on purpose.
Even though I’m still prone to lateness, I’ve been addressing it with some simple tricks.
Firstly, break down your morning routine. Write down every task you do and see how long it takes to complete each of them. You can see what is taking up most of your time, like doom-scrolling in bed or taking a 20-minute shower that realistically can be just 10 minutes.
If being on your phone is sapping your time away, buy yourself a phone cage. Yes, I know it sounds silly to lock your phone up in its own little jail cell, but this is a real time saver. I got my phone cage from the budget section of Target, and there are ones on Amazon that lock up your phone yet let you answer calls if need be.
I found this trick from Reddit, of all places, but if you’re as time blind as I am, it might be worth creating a playlist of songs you’re familiar with (or even white noise or classical music) and using song durations for different tasks. Not only does this confine your task to the song’s duration, but it will also become habitual for you when you put the playlist on, and you don’t have to draw out tasks longer than they need to be.
For me, addressing lateness is so significant because of how much it can affect relationships, careers, classes, and other responsibilities. As a society, we never explore why some people are chronically late without attaching negative labels. I think it’s time we take steps to give grace to those whose internal clock relates to their internal struggles.
Stay timely, friends! As always, you can use my Google form if you have any article suggestions.
