Picture it: You’ve just been accepted into your dream job/internship/school, or what have you. After weeks of preparation for interviews or endlessly writing personal statements, you finally reap the benefits of that hard work and get that acceptance email or letter! This is cause for a celebration, right? At least, it should be, but there may be that voice in your head that undermines that achievement.
Impostor syndrome is a very real thing that I, and many others, have experienced. It’s a thorn in my side during moments of fruitful achievements and a spectre during my worst failures. To put it simply, it makes you question if you are good enough for your accomplishments, and makes you feel like the ultimate fraud.
I’ve heard similar sentiments from my friends. A friend in my senior seminar class expressed feeling like an imposter as an English major. Another friend told me that she doesn’t feel thrilled when she achieves something because she thinks she didn’t “work hard enough for it.”
Throughout my college experience, I’ve struggled with imposter syndrome when I should have been celebrating my accomplishments and other good things in my life. When I first started dating my boyfriend, I wondered if I even deserved to be dating him because “he could’ve chosen anyone else” orthere were people more deserving of being with him than me. Looking back, that was a depressing way of going about a relationship, and eventually, it clicked why he chose to be with me.
According to Verywell Mind, there are five subtypes of imposter syndrome: the perfectionist, the expert, the natural genius, the soloist, and the super person. These types range from striving to achieve something flawlessly (the perfectionist), feeling like a fraud if you’re not an absolute expert in an interest of yours (the expert), or feeling like you need to be the hardest-working person to be worthy of achievement (the super person).
Imposter syndrome is also a very gendered concept; women experience it more frequently and intensely than men. According to Forbes, 75% of female executives experience imposter syndrome, with symptoms of self-doubt and burnout being some of the most common.
As a woman, I think this is abundantly true. When you grow up seeing women live in men’s shadows, you think that you’re destined to always be less worthy of success than a man. I see many women my age undermine their success even when they’ve worked insanely hard.
Imposter syndrome really dims otherwise colorful moments worthy of celebration. I remember when I got my acceptance letter to NYU’s Professional Writing master’s program; at first, I was ecstatic to be chosen by such a renowned university, and the people around me were just as proud as I was. But the more I thought about it, the more I questioned why I was accepted. Was my personal statement even that good? Did my writing sample show the best of my abilities as a writer and scholar? It got to the point where I thought they made a mistake when accepting me!
Moments like those make imposter syndrome difficult to live with. But whenever I feel that self-doubt looming over me, I remember a question my therapist asked me: “Why do you think you got accepted?” It’s a question that stopped me right in my tracks. I told her that maybe it was because I did my research on the school and met frequently with the folks at the Career Center to help me through the process. At that very moment, I realized that I was rationalizing my success to myself.
I walked myself through the months leading up to that acceptance, from working tirelessly to revise my personal statement to swapping out essays and articles to include in my writing sample. It became a “wow, I really did that” moment that helped me rationalize why I deserved that acceptance.
It also helps to document achievements. The same day I got accepted into NYU, I wrote in comically large letters in my journal, “NYU, HERE I COME!” to remind myself that this was a big deal that is more than worth celebrating.
If you are dealing with imposter syndrome after accomplishing something, break down why you were successful. What efforts did you make leading up to that success? Did you go out of your way to set yourself up for success? Did you ask for help with achieving your goal?
Remember that there is a reason that you completed a goal or were chosen for a role or opportunity. Believe me, I’m still working on not diminishing myself or what I achieve, but I will keep on rationalizing why I deserve the good things in my life. Stay successful! If you have any suggestions for future articles, you can fill out my Google form!
